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Bad Writing Example 1


Gerastyle saw the proud look on Grandwyn and knew she was falling in love with him.  Even though she had known him for only a couple of days she felt more at home with him than she had with anyone in her life.  She knew this for a fact when she saw the proud look on his face when he looked at the small boy huddled in the corner.

She watched lovingly as he moved steadily towards the boy and lifted him swiftly in his arms.

"Come on," she said.  "We should get out of here.  We have to find somewhere safe to hid."

"Yeah, I guess your right" told the warrior.  We have to find someplace before the bastards in eh wood send the next wave.  Come on boy we have to leave now.  What is your name kid?" he stated almost second-handedly.

"It's...Methegalon, Galon for short," stated the not-so-tiny boy.

"Well Galon," cut in Gerastyle, suddenly losing all humour.  "Is there any magic or advanced alien equipment lying around here?  We're going to need them to fight the undead."

"You mean the monster outside?" he said sounding younger than he looked.

"Yeah," stated the soft-hearted war veteran.
***
"I want him dead Andre" shouted Cormidion.  "From the weak demons you've been sednign after him it's no wonder he's escaped."

"It is almost dark milord.  Until the sun has fallen we cannot conjure any of the powerful undea even with the mystic fog."

"He is right sir.  Tanight, Chereve and me a re having a hard time conjuring even the weak types during this blasted daylight." Shouted the young Paladin Michael.

"Sir the sun will fall in an hour. Then we will try for something big, a spectre, a penangaganan or even a vampire," stated Tanigh in the calm tenor which was his voice.  "Until then we wait."

Meanwhile back in the village, all was extremely quiet.  The ghouls and ghasts were gone, disappearing instantly as the zombies had before them.

Gerastyle listened to the boy's tale and comforted him asa monster while Grandwyn conjured (non-magically) a pair of night slippers.

Gerastyle could sense magic in the hour and as the boy finished his tale she used her mutant-like powers to "see" illusions to notice a door where a blank wall had been only moments before.  Slowly she walked over to it hoping to find weapons which the boy had been unable to find. She reached for the handle.  And before she could hear Galon scream "NO!!!!" she slowly opened it quickly.

And a small creature who had apparently been listening at the door fell flat on his fear and said…

"Ouch!  You didn't have to do that when you knew I was there anyway.  Damn humans!"

(Source: M Joseph Murphy from way back in 1986. This is painful to read now.)

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